fat cat running
look at him… look at how deliberate each step and movement is. look at how mathematically perfect that 90 degree corner turn was… this cat is on another level far beyond us all
be the element that creates stardust.
be the element that causes the largest stars to explode.
be the element that is strong enough to collapse an entire universe. -
-k.m | supernovae(via lastisle)
"your password is weak"
You’re the weak one
And you’ll never know love, or friendship
And I feel sorry for you
WHY ARE PEOPLE WITH PENISES GIVEN FREE CONDOMS WHEN THEY DON’T NEED TO HAVE SEX BUT PEOPLE WITH VAGINAS STILL HAVE TO PAY FOR THINGS LIKE PADS AND TAMPONS FOR SOMETHING THEY CAN’T STOP
Vote me for president I will make all tampons and pads fucking free
I finally realized being happy comes naturally. If you try and force yourself to be happy, you will end up 10 feet deeper in sadness
i hate looking ugly the first time i meet someone like wait i can do better than this i swear
i hate pants that make it look like i have a boner when i sit but then i remember im a girl but i still worry that somebody will think i have a boner
Do… Girls really worry about this?
This is the one time of year that I love wasps.
Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.
Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.
The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.
I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.
The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.
So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.
Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.
I tried to reblog this with a witty tag, but Tumblr took it as serious advice: